Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Beginning

After months of pouring over every blog I could find dealing with WS, I am finally creating my own. I suppose I'm tired of being on the outside and just looking in! Or, it could be the exhaustion I'm finally succumbing to after 15 months on this emotional roller coaster with WS. My beautiful baby girl was diagnosed at 3 months and I'm still struggling with some aspects of the diagnosis. Unlike some of you wiser parents, I immediately began googling Williams Syndrome the moment Abbi was tested. Why wait for the actual diagnosis? I couldn't help myself. I wanted to arm myself with as much information as possible. I wanted to feel like I had some control over this situation. But, as my cardiologist and pediatrician had warned, the internet only fed my worst fears and painted a bleak picture. UNTIL, I discovered the blogs and family websites of other WS families. It was then that I felt the first rays of hope.
Since then, I've been optimistic and thankful concerning Abbi. Well, when sleep deprivation strikes, I'm not always that optimistic, but I am definitely thankful. At first, I constantly wondered 'Why me? Why us' But, my loving sister helped me put those feeling into perspective with a simple response of 'Why not, you?' and my mother recovering from a near fatal illness added 'If you can't take care of Abbi, then who can? Who will?'
It has been those simple thoughts that have steadied me in this journey thus far. I've been blessed this last year with two wonderful miracles, Abbi and my Mom!
Now, that I've officially entered blogdom, I hope to use this blog to keep my family & friends updated. AND, I'll admit that I hope it brings my family connections with other WS families that can offer the wisdom of their experiences and the support & understanding that only they can offer.
In closing, I credit the loss of Baby Blake this last week for spurring me to start this blog rather than continuing to procrastinate. I was touched by the outpouring of love & support. On the outside looking in, I had followed his family's story and I, too, wept when I read that he had passed. My almost 4 year-old asked why I was crying, and I tried to gently explain that Mommy was sad for another Mommy's loss. Then, something wonderful happened, Charlie asked to look at all the photos posted. Then, he too was hooked, and we looked through many blogs, sharing in many families lives. That's when I knew that we, not just me, but my whole family needed this blog community.
Whew! I'm sure not all my posts will be this long, but I must admit that it feels great already!
God Bless and Goodnight!